Look Inside Do you ever stop believing in the power of the human race? Do you ever start perceiving, in the image in the mirror a decided fall from grace? It's a product of your disconnected state As we turn into our fathers, as we strive to hold our deepest fears at bay Crashing headlong into others, blind to consequence, blind to any other way Simply doing what we must to make our way Well I say… Look inside You will find A hidden world of innocence and wonder Sanctuary, boat to carry you Across the river wide All you ever had to do was look inside I can hear the skeptics screaming, "Take your guitar and your pseudo-hippy pose Platitudes ain't got no bearing on the myth of my existence Or the weight of my own woes And the misery that only my heart knows." But I say… Look inside You will find A hidden world of innocence and wonder Sanctuary boat to carry you Across the river wide Look inside I was lost and disenchanted Just like you at one time All I ever had to do was look inside	Who We Are Don't know why I run and hide Make myself so lonesome You just say, "That's okay. Hey babe I'll catch you later." It took a while To put it all together You can't change somebody With your love no matter How right your are We are who we are The sidewalks teem With sunlight beams A thousand rainbow colors Private parts Troubled hearts All searching for the answer Faded dreams And broken hearted laughter But now I know You can't change somebody… Twilight fades Another day Converted into memory We discuss The change in us I've never been this happy It took some time To put it all together But now I know… You can't change somebody… No matter how bright your star No matter how fresh your scar We are who we are…	The Absence of Her Smile She says that she is going home now She says that she has seen enough She packed her bags, she's leaving in the morning On that 7:30 a.m. Greyhound Bus I want to know, how to go About living in the absence of her smile Even now, I dream that I'll Be forgiven for the absence of her smile Only half-remember how it was Before I started with those lies. Before I hated her for all the ways I failed her; Before she offered me her last good-bye And oh…. I want to know... I wonder how it will be Beyond the shadow of me Guess I'll never see I want to know....
Fifty Lifetimes Child of fear, child of anger Traveler on the open road An ancient car she bought with money that he gave her When he died, oh oh That was the only thing he ever gave her Except for failing eyes and curly hair And I did not believe that I could ever really save her Though I tried, I swear And if I traveled fifty lifetimes Through every country of the world I don't believe I'd ever find myself A more enchanting girl A more enchanting girl We made it through the wintertime unscathed Talked all night and slept away the days And though she had no faith to speak of Her silhouette looked saved Fading light of day And if I traveled fifty lifetimes… Saw her by the roadside, we went for a slow ride As I awoke from sleeping I knew that she was gone Well they say what does not kill you makes you stronger Let's just say she gave me lots of strength She offered love as fleeting as a lifetime only longer In a way, I said... If I traveled fifty lifetimes...	Diadem She wears her sex like a crown She tears the little boys to pieces When they come around She's pretty like a magazine I am her victim And how she loves to watch me bleed But when she smiles Once in a while Without the meanness Without the style And I can see The fine woman she can be I take my place in line Suffer her design Waiting for my diadem to shine I don't know what I'm going to do She robs my reason, And rest assured she knows it, too If I were stronger I would leave A righteous treason O'er which I know she would not grieve But when she smiles… The morning comes and I descend Down from my dream state, to the car around the bend The Blue horizon beckons me The crowded freeway Takes me to my destiny 'cause when she smiles…	Proving Ground Here I stand On the proving ground Mortal man Hiding my failures And I can Leave here without a sound But then where would I be? Broken again, lonely and free Without a friend I know I have demons to battle So I pray for the strength that I haven't yet found I'll go where the Diamondbacks rattle And wait for the day On the hot proving ground Lately my faith Dwindles like kindling in fire Shimmers and shakes like a ghost in the wind Glimmers and waits for the change to begin Lately my faith I know…. If I hold on 'till the new sun arrives If some small part of my true self survives Then I might run like a child on the sand Never to carry this burden again And oh here it comes, the one thing I forgot The secret I found is the secret I lost But can I believe in the truth I betrayed Can I make peace with the choices I made Help me hold on I know…
Dying on the Vine I took the long way I took the low road And when I got home It was morning, where'd the time go? She sat waiting She had her coat on Said, "This can't go on." Guess the truth was just a stone's throw A flower blossomed but the summer ended years ago The autumn spared us, but the winter has not been so kind And we don't feel the sun no more, we're just dying on the vine Door slam echo Gone for certain Behind drawn curtain I watch her through the window Floating backwards I see her shining A light so blinding Makes you wonder where it all goes A flower blossomed... Ancient photograph The way that we both laughed Looked like we'd stay like that forever But outside the picture frame The deepest truths change like the weather They change just like the weather A flower blossomed...	So Much Water (So Close to Home) I could go to anywhere, head hung low in shame Buy new clothes and dye my hair, maybe even change my name But the past don't ever disappear, and to run's a losing game So I might as well hang around here, maybe you should do the same What I mean to tell you, Well you think you own a private hell You decorated by yourself Books that you wrote on the shelf You're dying to come clean somehow No need to go a thousand miles away What I mean to say is there is… So much water, so close So much water, so close, so close So much water, so close to home I woke up on my brother's couch, swear I was half-dead Both my pockets emptied out, my blue eyes painted red I thought I had worked through my doubts, but they worked me through instead I lay there trying to figure out who I saw and what I said It started coming to me slow I saw a girl I used to know Asked her how it came to be My innocence escaped from me Hugged me when she stood to go Said there's something you should know my friend Then I swear she said that there was… So much water… You can't describe the pain inside but that's all right You can't believe you did the things you did last night Or should I say again, but you try to pretend That you never did, yeah you try to keep it hid I'm not strong and I'm not wise, and there's not much I know Told my share of downright lies, spent some time below Stumbled down a darkened road just beyond my childhood home Crossed the grassy clearing there, into the forest black and bare Came upon a silver stream, through the vast transparency I stared I had been unaware that there was so much water…	Distant Thunder Once you get a taste of freedom it's hard to settle down Once you get the hang of flying it's hard to touch back down Girl I know you're from the old school find a man and start a home But I can hear the sound of distant thunder calling us to roam Over yonder I can hear the sound of distant thunder I can see our destiny unfurl And I wonder at the mystery and beauty we'll discover When we embark and make our mark upon the world I can see your mama's worried that I won't take care of you 'cause I ain't got no steady income no realistic point of view Don't she know that heaven smiles on those who live the life they love That's why you hear the sound of distant thunder coming from above Over yonder…
The Dirt of Chimayo "Burn down the mission!" So said the noon day sun On a wearisome expedition, when the vision quest had begun Unbeknownst to the drifter, unbeknownst to the solitary one In the land of enchantment, with a strand of the story left undone The dirt of Chimayo, Make the crippled ones walk Make the somber ones smile And the silent ones talk Took the path of the least resistance To the place where the suffering people go To touch the dirt of Chimayo Adobe tower, past the wooden courtyard gates Oh the ancient healing power from the inside emanates Where the walking sticks gather that were left by the travelers of faith And a hero's bravado, disappears with the look upon his face The dirt of Chimayo... Lost and found Gone then saved Turned around And made my way Lighter now Not so brave Don't know how I made it to this place The dirt of Chimayo...	I Don't Know As I travel down the path of least resistance I don't stop To wonder what it's all about Money talks and beauty fades and misery loves company, but hey It ain't mine to figure out There are no fundamental answers to the fundamental questions It's a mystery beyond my skills of deduction, file it under…I don't know, so don't ask me I don't know As I live and breathe and search for something to believe in I'll put my trust in you Talk is cheap and love is blind, but what you see is what you get sometimes In between the far and few There are no fundamental… I tossed and turned until I learned To live and let the details slide There are no fundamental answers…	Produced by Dave Brown Recorded by Dave Brown and Joe West at Daveworld and DB Studios All songs written by Bill Deasy except "I Don't Know" written by Bill Deasy and Kim Richey. All songs © 2001 Jolu Songs/Mugglesongs (BMI). Lyrics used by permission. Bill Deasy guitar, vocals Dave Brown guitars, keyboards, kitchen sink Joe Zelek drums Eric Riebling bass guitar John Burgh Hammond B3, piano Clark Slater, Scott Blasey, John Caldwell background vocals Paul Hannan mandolin and harmony on 9 Dave Messineo guitar on 9 Jim DiSpirito percussion on 4 Cover art by Antares - www.wayamoon.com Thanks to our families, friends, comrades, and fans. The rest of you can go fly a kite.